Rangatahi pūrākau
These pūrākau are from some of the rangatahi interviews. They address challenges that can arise in a journey to becoming a sexual being. Each is followed by enquiry questions taken from the research interviews, these are designed support you to reflect on how they relate to people, how unhelpful ideas about gender and sexuality can impact them, and how they can create new ways of being and becoming sexual.
Explore more rangatahi pūrākau that might be helpful guidance in a journey to becoming a sexual being.
Kerry's Story
Kerry has always been free to be themselves at home with whānau. They’ve grown up in a family where there are lesbian aunties, gay uncles, and whānau members that don’t have to fit into any particular boxes. They love being able to grow up in a whānau that sees them for them, rather than expecting them to be any specific way. People at school think Kerry should act in specific ways and have strong opinions about the things Kerry should do. They have been having trouble making friends and wonder if they should just “blend in” to make life easier.
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How can we push back against pressures to fit in?
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How do we make space to be ourselves?
Terry's Story
Terry wonders why they have to do specific things within their whānau and at school because of the body they were born with. In Terry’s whānau, women are expected to keep the house clean, have dinner cooked, all that sort of stuff, while the men are expected to go out and earn money. Terry would rather be able to have a balance, to be free to stay home and take care of all the things that keep the family running, and go out and work. They wonder if there’s any reason why these things have to be set in stone based on the bodies people have.
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Are there things you’re expected to do because of your gender that don’t feel right?
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If you could choose, what things would you want to do?
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Do these match up with what other people expect of you?
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Is gender important to you?
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Where do you think our ideas of gender come from?
Marley's Story
Marley likes doing things that are expected of them based on their gender, but would like to do some of the things that aren’t traditionally open to them. Marley would like to walk both sides of the spectrum and hopes this can change day to day.
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How realistic is it that people will fit neatly within boxes of man or woman?
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Do you notice that sometimes you feel more comfortable doing things considered masculine and other times doing things considered feminine?
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What sorts of things would you like to do that don’t traditionally align with your gender?
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What do you think would happen if you leant into those activities?
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Where did you learn what it means to be a boy, a girl, or non-binary?
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How would it feel to do anything regardless of gender?
Hine's Story
Hine is a tomboy. Her parents and cousins always joke that she’ll never find a husband, or must be a lesbian because of how she dresses and the things she’s interested in. Hine grew up watching movies with makeover scenes where the lead tomboy gets their hair and makeup done, and put in a fancy dress, and suddenly all the boys are interested. None of this sounds like what Hine wants. Hine wants the freedom to be herself, for others to mind their own business and leave her be.
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How might gendered pressures push us into acting in ways that we don’t like?
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What small ways can we push back against these pressures so we can take up space to be ourselves?