Rangatahi pūrākau

These pūrākau are from some of the rangatahi interviews. They address challenges that can arise in a journey to becoming a sexual being. Each is followed by enquiry questions taken from the research interviews, these are designed support you to reflect on how they relate to people, how unhelpful ideas about gender and sexuality can impact them, and how they can create new ways of being and becoming sexual.

Explore more rangatahi pūrākau that might be helpful guidance in a journey to becoming a sexual being.

More rangatahi pūrākau

Mere's Story

Mere is 13 and has just created an Instagram. Her and her sister have been taking photos of each other, their pets, and trying on new outfits to create instagram posts and stories. She noticed that people were mistaking her for someone much older. However there have been some random people messaging her, telling her she was a babe, and sending photographs of themselves with no clothes on. She didn’t think much of it at first, but they continued to harass her, and asked her to send photos to them of herself. She asked her sister what to do, and her sister suggested she ‘block them’ so they couldn’t contact her.

How might we reach out for support to deal with people we don’t know very well asking for photos of us?
What strategies can we use to protect our taonga online?
How might we be able to tell if someone is treating online chat like a game?

Sarah's Story

Sarah joined tinder after a breakup and has been enjoying meeting people. However, she doesn’t understand why some guys just straight up ask her for sex. She is strong and confident, and happy to block guys who are rude. But some of them have been harsh in response to her saying she isn’t interesting, telling her she is ugly anyway, not worth it, and that no one would want to go out with her. She was chatting with a guy who was nice and appeared interested in getting to know her. He arranged a date somewhere he thought would be fun and picked her up from her house. He took her out to the middle of nowhere and said they wouldn’t drive her back until she had sex with them. She waited 5 hours until he drove her back.

How might we deal with sexism and misogyny online?
How might we respect the mana and tapu of people we connect to online when they don’t want to keep contact?
What are some safety strategies can you use when meeting with someone for the first time?

Karen & Rawiri's Story

Karen was really interested in Rawiri, and they had been flirting on messenger together for a few months. She decided to send him a photo of her showing good cleavage. Rawiri told one of his mates and was getting some pressure from the boys to share it with them. They told him it didn’t happen if he didn’t give them proof. Karen was really popular at school and Rawiri knew she would be devastated if her photo was shared. Rawiri also knew that the last girl this happened to at school ended up changing schools because she was so devastated.

What relationship tikanga does Rawiri need to act upon in this situation?
How might Rawiri draw support to resist the pressures from his friends?
How might we see colonial sexism and patriarchy play out in Rawiri’sfriends’ actions?

Jonette's Story

Jonette has some goodguy mates. They often watch movies togetherover a few drinks, and she can join in as one of the boys. Sometimes the boys put porn on as a joke. One night one of her guy mates brought lots of alcohol and was giving her lots of attention. She didn’t realise that everyone else had gone except the two of them, and he was trying to get her to do what they were watching on tv. She couldn’t remember what happened next,but she woke up without her clothes on next to her friend on the couch. She had complex feels about what had happened. On one hand, she wanted to hold onto him as a friend, but she was concerned that what he did was not ok. If she knew his intentions,she would have wanted to have a talk with him about it and clarify her expectations were only for friendship.

How do we navigate situations when a friend makes a move on us that indicates they are sexually attracted to us when we have a platonic friendship connection to them?
How might we identify sexual coercion among those we trust?
In social events, how can we be there to support our friends in case they fall into a vulnerable situation?
How might the porn people watch influence the way they go about initiating sex?